I am not, by nature or inclination, a risk taker. Those who know me would not list that among my traits. Fear gets in the way. But an interesting thing has happened in recent years.
As I have weathered devastating personal storms, drawn closer to Jesus, become more aware of the profound needs and injustices in the world and begun in deeper ways to yearn for God’s kingdom to grow on earth, I find myself restless, wanting something “more”. The “more” is not about things, job, security, or leisure time. Instead, I yearn to be fully engaged in the adventure of what God is doing in the world – and in me.
To pursue this means some big changes. It means my life can no longer be ruled by fear or by the lies that would derail me. It means I have to take seriously that there are real needs in the world and trust God to work through me.
Adventure, change and risk – at least for me – are bound together. Fear has largely sidelined them in my life. I feel the restlessness but find it hard to change unless it is forced on me. And yet, while I could find plenty of compassion in scripture for people who live in fear, I could find no permission to stay there. There’s a constant call to “Fear not,” to follow Jesus no matter what or where.
The outward look of what I do does not determine this. It’s an internal shift that says I will not let fear put constraints on whether I say ‘yes’ to the Holy Spirit’s nudge, and I will not let complacency set my life’s path.
I wrote most of this about a year ago – as part of my initial support raising materials. I've taken steps in the last year. The move to Georgia to join the team at Adventures in Missions was a big step. Starting the blog is a smaller step. I have not completely overcome fear. I still move slowly and cautiously in many things. Some of that slow and cautious approach is okay and it's part of the value that I can "bring to the table." But some of it still needs to be broken loose.
There's a lot I don't know about what is ahead, but this much I do know – I hope to spend the rest of my life taking new steps toward fully saying “yes” to Jesus.
Betty,
I am moved by your courage and your perseverance. I am right there with you about the fear. This post was encouraging to me and the morning prayer is how I will begin my day. It will be my Lenten prayer.
“The outward look of what I do does not determine this. It’s an internal shift that says I will not let fear put constraints on whether I say ‘yes’ to the Holy Spirit’s nudge, and I will not let complacency set my life’s path.”
Like you, this is beautiful and brave.
Thank you for following the nudge.
What joy to see your face again, Betty! It made me smile. I always remember my years in Bible study with your faithful leader-ship.
It seems that your posts were meant to nudge me, encourage me to move from my somewhat uncomfortable comfort zone, knowing & believing our Lord has better things waiting for the last third of this life. Your courage is a shining example!
Thank you & God bless you!
Oh Betty, as one who has come to Caratinga Brasil as a missionary at age 66, I applaud what you are doing. I LOVE AIM and know you will NEVER be sorry for taking this step of faith … I agree totally with the scriptures you quoted …I am literally trading my fears for the JOY OF THE LORD … SO ARE YOU!!!!
So happy that we get to be more a part of your new life in Georgia! You have always pushed past the comfort zones, physically, emotionally and spiritually and it inspires all of us!