I am not, by nature or inclination, a risk taker.  Those who know me would not list that among my traits.  Fear gets in the way.  But an interesting thing has happened in recent years.

As I have weathered devastating personal storms, drawn closer to Jesus, become more aware of the profound needs and injustices in the world and begun in deeper ways to yearn for God’s kingdom to grow on earth, I find myself restless, wanting something “more”.  The “more” is not about things, job, security, or leisure time.  Instead, I yearn to be fully engaged in the adventure of what God is doing in the world – and in me.

To pursue this means some big changes.  It means my life can no longer be ruled by fear or by the lies that would derail me.   It means I have to take seriously that there are real needs in the world and trust God to work through me. 

Adventure, change and risk – at least for me – are bound together.  Fear has largely sidelined them in my life.  I feel the restlessness but find it hard to change unless it is forced on me.  And yet, while I could find plenty of compassion in scripture for people who live in fear, I could find no permission to stay there.  There’s a constant call to “Fear not,” to follow Jesus no matter what or where.

The outward look of what I do does not determine this.  It’s an internal shift that says I will not let fear put constraints on whether I say ‘yes’ to the Holy Spirit’s nudge, and I will not let complacency set my life’s path.

I wrote most of this about a year ago - as part of my initial support raising materials.  I've taken steps in the last year.   The move to Georgia to join the team at Adventures in Missions was a big step.  Starting the blog is a smaller step.  I have not completely overcome fear.  I still move slowly and cautiously in many things.  Some of that slow and cautious approach is okay and it's part of the value that  I can "bring to the table."  But some of it still needs to be broken loose.

There's a lot I don't know about what is ahead, but this much I do know - I hope to spend the rest of my life taking new steps toward fully saying “yes” to Jesus.