Running Into the Arms of Jesus

There are times when tears come unexpectedly for me.  When my emotions feel close to the surface, ready to spill over.  A day feels melancholy.  Or I feel knots starting to form in my stomach.  I feel particularly lonely.   Something pokes at an old wound or something hard looms on the horizon.  It feels like the lies I’ve worked so hard to not believe suddenly find new weak points in me to attack.  Or maybe I’m suddenly tired – of working full time, or of having to be strong, or of being alone.  I woke up this morning realizing it was going to be one of those days.
 
The unexpected part is that most days these same things could exist and they aren’t a burden, I may barely notice them, and they don’t bring tears to my eyes.  I don’t spend my days working up energy to “be strong”.  I enjoy my life – it’s not a constant struggle.  My normal quietness is peaceful, not melancholic. 
 
So what causes two similar days, in terms of circumstances, to feel so different?  I can usually identify possible triggers for the emotions.  But why are those triggers no big deal most days, yet seem to get their hooks in me on other occasions?
 
I don’t know why.  I do know I have friends that I can call or ask for prayer.  It’s both good and wise to do that.  I do know that this will pass.  I do know that even on these days, I can have extended periods of good “distraction” – where being with people feels normal and life-giving.  But that doesn't always "solve" the problem and the emotional fragility returns after that time is over. 
 
At the core, sometimes I just need Jesus.  Not in my normal quiet times, not in my typical prayer times, not in the wonderful gift of friends.  I just need Him. 
 
An old hymn, I Will Arise and Go To Jesus, has this chorus:

 

I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh, there are ten thousand charms.

So I run to Jesus, desperate for His arms around me.  Not wanting to talk or think or analyze or take the steps I've learned in counseling.  Just wanting to be held.  And knowing that His arms are my safe place, my best protection from the things that hurt and ultimately where I will find what I need.