I’ve been lucky (or blessed, or both). I’ve been part of a church that while it isn’t perfect, is as close as I can imagine. They have “done church right” in so many ways that my life is different as a result.
And I’m “home” for a quick visit.
This time, for a couple of nights, instead of staying with friends I am staying at the Center for Renewal – a retreat center on the church property. The counselors I saw during the hardest years of my life used to have their offices here. The office where I sobbed and hurt and wrestled and healed is now the bedroom I slept in – and the space was filled with the spiritual presence that permeated those sessions. The memories are not of pain, but of healing and richness and gratitude for this community that embraced me when I arrived, later brought me through the tough times and then sent me out when God called me away. This view, from a bedroom chair as I sip a cup of coffee, speaks peace into deep places for me.
I’m still knit together with this place and these people. I moved to Georgia 5-1/2 years ago to work for Adventures in Missions but this is my “home church,” my “sending church.”
In 1994, I arrived in Connecticut and discovered that regional differences do exist. New England is not the South! And I came to love the depth I found here. It fit me well. I found my Children’s Ministry “voice” here and tomorrow at church I will see young adults that I knew “back when they were kids”. And many of the deep conversations I had with some of them come flooding back. Tonight I will spend New Year’s Eve with my small group – and we always laugh a lot but also find a way to have the “how are you REALLY doing?” conversations. Today at lunch I’ll catch up with the couple who walked me through counseling, spiritual direction and inner healing. Before I leave I’ll have time and conversations with other friends – the lifelong friends where distance may change how we do life together but doesn’t keep us from doing it.
I’ve been well loved by this community. As my marriage was ending and I needed to get a huge house ready to go on the market, 35 people showed up one Saturday and put in over 150 hours of labor – repairing things, weeding gardens, pressure washing patios, packing up all the “stuff” you’re not supposed to have on display when the house is on the market. It was humbling to ask for the help but more humbling to receive the overwhelming outpouring of practical love in action. I can’t keep plants alive so someone borrowed plants, staged them in the house AND kept them alive until the house sold. I’ve shown up on doorsteps in tears and been welcomed in and held as I cried. As I found myself alone at a stage of my life when I had not expected to be alone, I’ve been celebrated on birthdays and remembered on holidays. A number of my supporters (I raise support in order to be on Adventures’ staff) are here. There are prayer warriors who pray for me and for my ministry.
It’s a church that fed me well, challenged me and equipped me. I was encouraged to build and lead a radically different spiritual formation program for children and was supported in that by the pastor and the elders. Learning spiritual disciplines such as listening prayer and true retreats deepened my walk with the Lord. Opportunities were available to grow in leadership knowledge and skills. Conversations with my pastor could be honest and I grew from the wisdom in those and was blessed by the compassion demonstrated in them. There’s a new pastor since I moved and I’m fed as I listen to the podcasts of his sermons and am grateful for his interest in getting to know me.
This is my story of life in this community. I know others may have come and gone and not experienced it. As I said, we’re not perfect. But I’ve watched this body walk faithfully with so many – through illness, unemployment, good times and hard times. It’s a community that celebrates well, grieves well with each other, and cares well.
Being here reminds me to take a deep breath and to remember that there’s a deep, rich beauty when church is “done right”.
Thank you to the The Barn and to the community here. You have changed my life in deep and profound ways.
Known as The Barn, the official church name is Covenant Presbyterian Church; Simsbury, CT, cpcbarn.org
Center for Renewal, www.cfrbarn.org
